You're Gonna Lose (Your Soul Tonight)
by losercandy
Summary: a collection of violence and gore, probably.


[AN: HA HA hey what's up? this was a christmas present for my friend and it's... Yeah. Violent. Not that that's different from what i usually do but just. You know, justin case.]

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><p>Rick tapped his pen against his journal, rapidly and loudly. "Hmmmmm. Hmmmm." He hummed for what seemed to be the 100th time.<p>

"Glass jar… Brass…bar? Mass…ive car… Hmmm"

Vyvyan shook with irritation as Rick paced in front of the television again.

"Rick, what the hell are you doing?! You can't rhyme 'class war' with 'massive car'!"

"And why _not?" _

"It's too many syllables. Messes up your metre."

Rick considered for a moment, then took on an air of offence, crossing his arms and scowling. "I don't need metre, Vyvyan. I break boundaries! I push limits! I'm here to make the people think, not give them something to count rhythm to!"

"Then why bother rhyming at all?"

Rick dropped his arms and puffed his chest out. "I- Oh, god, Vyvyan! Why are you always such a fascist! I bet you have a big poster of Thatcher that you snog before you go to bed, that's how much of a brain-washed _fascist_ you are!"

Vyvyan notices Mike coming down the stairs out of the corner of his eye and grins evilly.

"Rick, will you stop masturbating in the middle of the room, it's not decent! I just want to watch telly!"

Rick's face turned beet red when he noticed Mike, stopped dead in his tracks and staring.

"I wasn't! I mean it's fairly obvious that I wasn't!" Rick said, gesturing to his crotch.

Mike narrowed his eyes a bit and turned away, continuing to the kitchen. "Rick, everybody has to drain the pies, but most of us do it where we can catch the drips, you dig?" Mike said as he grabbed a newspaper and tucked it underneath his arm.

"Mike, I wasn't-"

"Just go to your room already, Rick." Mike said, sitting next to Vyvyan on the couch.

Rick, not being one to try and argue with Mike, sulked and left.

Vyvyan grinned towards the television only to realize that the programme he'd been trying to watch was over.

"Fuck." He muttered, throwing the remote at the television and throwing himself forward onto his feet.

"Riiiiiiiiiiick!" He screamed as he ran up the staircase.

He turned Rick's doorknob violently, but it was locked. He pounded loudly on the door. "What, I accused you of having a wank so you thought you'd cheer yourself up by _having a wank?"_

"God, just go away, Vyvyan!"

Vyvyan retreated to his own room only to come back with a chainsaw. He cut around the doorknob then kicked the door open with extreme force.

Rick was sitting in his chair, clutching his journal against his chest and screaming.

"What, do you wank to your own poetry?"

"For your information, _Vyvyan_, I'm writing a poem to tell you how much of a piss head fascist you are."

"_Really? _Go on then, read it to me!"

Rick shifted uncomfortably in his chair.

"Well it's not… I mean it's not exactly ready yet…"

"I don't care! Read it!"

"Oh alright…" Rick cleared his throat and held the journal out in front of himself.

"No, stand up. Do it proper."

Rick rolled his eyes. "Ugh, fine." He stood up and smoothed the wrinkles out of his shirt, clearing his throat again and posing theatrically.

"It's called 'Piggyan'. Vyvyan, Vyvyan, why are you such a Piggyan?/ You claim to hate/ The oppressive state/ and yet you are a fascist/ you bring me down/ you stupid clown/ because you know/ that I am smarter than you."

He held his arms out in a flourish and waited.

"What, is that it? The last bit didn't even rhyme."

"I _told _you it wasn't finished yet!" Rick yelled, tucking his notebook into his pocket frantically and throwing his Biro at Vyvyan.

"God, Rick, you really are the stupidest little girlie I know." Vyvyan grumbled, dropping the chainsaw to the ground with a loud thump.

Rick walked forward to him, poking Vyvyan in the chest with his finger.

"Listen, I think you've had enough fun for one day, mister! You've cut open my door, you've attempted to poison my tea, you've insulted me, and you've embarrassed me in front of Mike, all of which I have accepted with near to no retaliation."

Vyvyan scoffed. "I'd hardly call trying to drop an anvil on me 'no retaliation'."

Rick closed his eyes and huffed, then continued. "But what I WILL NOT accept is you making fun of my poetry."

Vyvyan grabbed Rick's hand and shoved it back, leaning in towards his face. "Then stop writing such shit poetry." He hissed at him.

"I don't criticize what _you _do." Rick said to him, defensively as he tried to back away.

"You criticize _everything_ I do." Vyvyan said, pushing Rick into the wall. His hand hit first, rubbing his knuckles against the grit of the un-sanded wood which had been haphazardly nailed to his wall to patch up a hole Mike had carved when he was trying to convert Rick's room into an observatory.

"Get off me, Vyvyan." Rick said weakly, raising his other hand to push Vyvyan away. Vyvyan grabbed his wrist and pushed his other hand roughly onto the wall. Rick stood, pinned against the wall, eyes wide with terror. Vyvyan breathed heavily, glaring back at him. Rick could feel Vyvyan's breath on his face. Vyvyan tilted his head and stared at Rick with a confused expression.

"What?" Rick asked, staring at him with his chin tucked down.

"Nothing. God, you're stupid." He said, tightening his grip. His fingernails dug into Rick's skin.

"Vyvyan, let-" Vyvyan stopped him by clumsily smacking his lips onto Rick's. He let go of Rick's wrists and wrapped his arms around his waist, pulling him closer. Rick didn't take time to question what was happening. He placed his hands on Vyvyan's neck, running them roughly over the few soft hairs that hadn't been cemented with gel. Vyvyan continued to kiss him fairly aggressively until he accidentally knocked Rick's head into the wall.

"Ow, Vyvyan, why did you-"

Vyvyan released Rick and stumbled back. He looked down at his arms, confused, like they didn't belong to him. He glared angrily at Rick, and wiped the back of his hand against his mouth. He reeled back and punched Rick in the jaw hard enough to make him double over.

"Vyvyan?" Rick asked, holding his jaw.

"How dare you kiss me, you fucking poof!"

"Vyvyan I didn't kiss you, you kissed me, you-"

Vyvyan launched his foot into Rick's stomach and sent Rick onto the floor, splayed.

Vyvyan stood over him, fists balled, staring down with a stony expression.

"I should have known you were going to try and pull something like this."

Vyvyan swooped down and grabbed Rick by the lapels. Rick threw his arms up to shield his face. Vyvyan picked Rick up and hurled him into the wall. Rick fell to the floor with a low groan, and tried to crawl for the door. Vyvyan ripped a plank off the wall and slammed it down over Rick's head. With a flash of red, he grinned, realizing the nail was still sticking out of the end.

Unimaginable fury poured from Vyvyan in a series of unrelenting blows. He kicked, punched, and hit Rick with anything and everything in sight. Rick whined and groaned with every hit, completely drained of energy or will. Vyvyan kicked one of his teeth loose, and with another kick, he swallowed it. Vyvyan paused. Rick lay limp on the ground, covered in cuts and forming bruises, blood smeared across him and dripping slowly from his mouth to the floor.

"Vyvyan, wh-what are you doing?" He wheezed as loudly as he could.

"I'm just teaching you a lesson." Vyvyan said, stepping back. He bent down to the floor and picked something up. Rick couldn't see it for his swollen eye.

"The kind of lesson that ends in a chainsaw." Vyvyan said, showing it to Rick and bringing the chainsaw roaring to life with a sharp tug of the rip cord.

"You ready?" Vyvyan asked with a grin.


End file.
